Heaven only knows how much I pray for you
by Wolfeye
Summary: What if you felt like the most lonely person on earth and someone out there prayed for you and your soul?


**Birthday Suprise's** by Trins (comes from the website Granger Enchanted)

**Summary: **

My b'day is in a few weeks, so i am issuing a b'day challenge. It's Hermione's Birthday and all but one person has forgotten. You choose out of the characters below who it is that remembered.

**Must use three of the following phrases:**

"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two."

"To grow old when your a man, obviously doesn't mean to grow up."

"You, Me, Whipped Cream and Handcuffs. Any Questions?"

_"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest."_

"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!"

_"The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on."_

**Use one of these items:**

A pink owl.

A black hair wig.

_A torn umbrella_

_A picture of a known male in high heels._

**Rating: **R, NC17

**Word Count**: **minimum** : 2000 but the more the merrier.

Categories: None Characters: Bill Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Sirius Black

**Heaven only knows how much I pray for you**

She didn´t bother to look around 12 Grimmauld Place for any people, she knew that everyone was out, except for herself. It was the third year anniversary of the defeat of Tom Marvolo Riddle, or otherwise known to the Wizarding World as Lord Voldemort. She took hold of the wall while she limped up the stairs to get to the old Black study. Ronald Weasley had died in the war; her fiancé of two months had given his life to protect their champion, Harry Potter. Hermione herself had given her ability to walk without a cane or a limp to try to protect Ron. When she had jumped before the _Sectumsempra _curse that was aimed at him, she saw that Bellatrix Lestrange had fired the killing curse, and her love had fallen dead before her eyes. The curse that hit her right leg sliced through her upper thigh muscles, making the work of stitching the muscle back together almost impossible.

They all said to her that she was lucky to be alive; Harry had killed Lestrange right after Ron fell in battle. She didn´t feel lucky, how could she? She hadn´t saved Ron, it had taken her almost two years to accept her disability, and few people recognized the 23-year-old witch. Now, she could almost walk with a cane but she still felt the throbbing pain when the weather was bad, like today. It was pouring outside, and it was very cold for mid September. The date was why she wanted to be alone. She didn't want to celebrate the end of the war without Ginny and Harry, who were on a much deserved honeymoon and she didn´t want to celebrate with the Order. It wasn´t the end of the war she was going to celebrate eighter. It was her 24th birthday. She wasn´t even going to celebrate, she was going to take a drink for Ron, then a drink to her dead parents, and after that she was going to get so pissed so she would not remember this sorrowful day. Yes, few people recognized this young witch, because she had little in common with the witty, charming and intelligent Hermione Granger she was before Ron and everyone else died. What was left was a young woman that rarely said a word, she observed everything, she barely ate or slept which resulted in weight loss and insomnia, and her brown eyes were always haunted by memories. She didn´t have a grudge against people that moved on, she had done that herself, but she did have grudges against those who thought that when she had moved on she was going to be the same person as before.

She reached the end of the stairs but miscalculated, and fell face forward onto the floor. Her leg ached in pain but when she tried to get up it wouldn't support her. She gasped as the leg gave away again and tried to look around for something to hold onto. Her eyes fell on a torn umbrella standing against the wall a few feet away and slowly she crawled on the dirty floor to get to it. When she finally got it, she leaned on it heavily and kept limping towards the study. Once there, she grabbed the desired bottle of firewhisky and a glass before she sat down in a comfortable chair by the window.

She started a fire with a flick of her hand and a few murmured words before she poured herself a generous amount of whisky and downed it in one gulp. She had learned wandless magic when she realized that it was easier than having to wave a wand when you had her type of disability. She didn´t hear the door downstairs open or close, she didn´t even hear the light steps the man took when he walked up the stairs and when she downed her second glass she didn´t hear him open the door to the study. She didn´t see him lean against the doorframe and sigh when he saw her small form looking out the window. He would never think of her as weak or helpless because he had seen her on the battlefield, as if a war goddess and he had seen how she had grown up in the last three years from a girl to a beautiful but lonely woman. Everyone else in the Order tried to ignore the young woman, because no one knew how to talk to her. She only seemed to be comfortable around Harry and Ginny, the only people that ever talked to her outside Order business or work.

"I see that you have found Sirius' old Fire Whisky, his best bottle by the look of it," he said. He wasn´t surprised that she didn´t even flinch when he talked. After the war nothing seemed to make her lose her balance, she was steady as a rock and as silent as one too.

"I didn´t think he would mind, he doesn´t have any use for it anyway" she answered him darkly and poured herself another glass. He knew why she didn´t invite him in, she wanted to be alone but he wasn´t going to give her that privilege.

"Why do you do this every year, Hermione? Birthdays aren't supposed to be bad things. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest" he said and smiled slightly when he walked inside the study and sat across from her in another chair.

"Even if you are a friend, Remus I don´t recall inviting you in. And as for your question, my reasons are my own, thank you" she replied dryly.

"Hermione, you don´t realise that you are not alone, it is not your destiny to kill their memories buy acting like this. Ronald wouldn´t have wanted it this wa…" he didn´t even have time to finish the sentence before she had waved her hand and he was thrown back with chair and all. She rose from her seat slowly with fire in her eyes and painfully limped over to him.

"Don´t you dare use his name against me. I loved him more than you can know and you have no idea of what I have lost," she said through clenched teeth.

"Don´t I? The pain is so intense that you can´t breath or sleep and the pain is making you fall apart" he almost screamed at her when he rose from the floor and walked towards her, he didn´t stop until she could feel the heat radiating from him. He took the glass she held in her limp hand, brought it to his lips, and downed the rest of the whisky.

"You will not betray his or your soul by letting him go, Hermione. You said that you have moved on, but from one tormented soul to another, I ask you why have you not let him go? You are so consumed with anger, memories and grief that you can´t let him go. I know because I felt the same way about Nymphadora" he whispered.

"How did you let her go?" she asked while a silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"I remembered what we had together, that she deserves to rest and mostly of all, that there was nothing I could do to save her. It wasn´t our destiny to live our lives together. I had to let her go. Do the same for Ronald, let him rest now, Hermione before the grief consumes you too." he said and wiped the tear away with his lips against her cheek.

That small act made her bleeding heart jump and by doing such a kind and generous thing, she could feel that she was starting to heal and letting go of Ron without betraying him. She would never forget how he made her feel or how much they had loved each other, but it was time to move on.

"Good bye, my love" she whispered slowly while Remus took her in his arms and held her as the tears came and went for the first time since the end of the war. He kissed the top of her head and rested his cheek against her forehead while he whispered soothing words in English, Latin, French and Italian, yes, every language he could remember. He could feel her trembling stop, she looked up at him with fresh eyes and smiled a small but genuine smile, but it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He helped her back to her chair and refilled her glass while he poured himself a drink in another.

"I didn'tt know if I was ever going to be able to smile again, Remus, not after everything that has happened" she said softly.

"The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on. Let the anger and sorrow go away with the rain, Hermione. Lay the blame where it should belong, with Voldemort, not with you."

She looked at him for a moment while she brought the drink to her lips and sipped at it. She then tore her gaze from his and then looked outside the window, watching the rain pour.

"Why, Remus? Why did you even try, my friend?" she asked him quietly.

"Heaven only knows how much I have prayed for you to find your peace. Hermione. You are more than a friend to me, Hermione. We are not the only one that has lost in this war, but we both have experienced the same thing. That makes us equals, Hermione, our pain is similar and that makes us attached to each other."

She looked at him again and sat down her glass on the table next to the chair. She rose from her chair silently and slowly moved towards him. He didn´t try to help because he knew that this was something she had to by herself. Then slowly she slided her bad leg up next to his and then she straddled his lap, sitting back on it, looking up into his grey eyes. What he saw made his heart jump, there was a fire in her eyes he hadn´t seen in many years. She moved her hands up his chest to wind them into his hair and then connect at the base of his neck. When their lips met, she sighed against his lips and when he pressed his tongue against her lower lip, she opened her mouth and the kiss intensed tenfold. He drew up his hands under her t-shirt and made first contact with her hot skin. She unbuttoned his robe and tugged at it so he guided his arms out it and it pooled around his waist. He lifted her t-shirt, drew it over her head, and moaned when he saw the red coloured bra she was wearing underneath. She unbuttoned his grey shirt and it followed the robes shortly. As their skin met, he felt her breast against his chest, and they both moaned. None of them had anticipated that their passion for each other was going to be so strong. In one swift movement, he lifted her against him and Hermione intertwined her good leg with his. He carried her to the old oak desk and shoved papers and books to the side, making them fly around the study. He slowly undid her jeans and almost tore them off when her hand caressed the bulge in front of his trousers. He captured her lips once more and soon they were both naked, making Hermione remember the scars on her leg. This made her tear her lips from his and ashamed, she hid her face in the hollow of his throat.

"What is it, Hermione, did I hurt you?" he whispered, concerned. When she didn´t answer him he cupped her chin and made her look at him, tears brimming on the edges of her beautiful eyes.

"The…scars" she choked out. When he realized that she ashamed about the scarred leg, he smiled and slowly touched her leg while he looked into her eyes.

Then he took her hand and made her touch his scarred face and then the grimmest scars on his body.

"You have nothing to be afraid of, love. You are beautiful in all your glory, body and soul. That is why I love you," he said quietly.

Hermione starred at him for a while, then suddenly pulled him to her, and kissed him fiercly.

"Love you too, my precious werewolf. Make me yours, Remus," she said while she kissed his neck, dragging her teeth over the sensitive skin there.

With a growl Remus claimed her as his and penetrated her, making them both gasp. When she started moving, he moaned and started kissing his way down her neck and cupped her breasts. Their sweaty bodies ground and danced together in an old dance, lovers had done for thousands of years, making them move and breathe as one being.

It wasn´t long until she could feel her release coming, and when it came she clamped her muscles around him, making him sink his teeth into her shoulder making them both come, Hermione her second time.

They sat there panting a while until he lifted her and walked towards the fireplace, placing them in front of it on the soft rug, while she summoned a blanket to cover them both. He laid her on her back, bringing her bad leg up; he kissed the scar tissue while their eyes were locked on each other. He then carefully set her leg down and crawled up her body like the predator her was and kissed her with new passion.

"Remember this, Hermione, I will always love you and neither heaven nor hell will keep me from you. I promise you that you will never be alone again. My voice will become hoarse from every time I will tell you how much you mean to me. We have both suffered and it has been a long way. We will never forget those who once sang in our hearts but that doesn´t stop us from singing in each other hearts. I am yours if you want me," he said before he kissed her again, making her shudder beneath him.

"Our destiny is to be together, my love."

"I love you, too."

"Oh, I almost forgot. _Accio present_" he called and a small piece of paper came flying from his robes into his hand. "Happy birthday, my love. I hope this can make you laugh in the future, alone and with me."

He handed her the paper and when she looked at it she saw that it was a photography from her third year when he had teached them in DADA. It was taken during their lesson with the boggart and the picture was a still picture taken from an angle that only showed the newly reinstated Potions Professor of Hogwarts, Severus Snape clad in Neville Longbottom's grandmother's clothes, with purse, high heels and everything. When she saw it she started laughing and soon tears was springing from her eyes making her laugh only harder.

"Can I use this to blackmail him into giving me potions ingredients to the Wolfs Bane potions?" she managed to make out between the laughs.

"You can to whatever you wish with it as long as you laugh like that more often. Happy Birthday, Hermione"

"I promise, my precious werewolf. This turned out to be one of the best birthdays ever," was all she said.

"And there are many to come, my love" he answered, taking the photograph from her hand and once again he captured her in their passion and love.

We now leave the two newfound lovers to each other and I can assure you that even if old lovers will not be forgotten in mind, soul or love these two will laugh, cry, love and pray to the skies. Because heaven only knows what waits them in the future but I pray that they will be happy together. Don´t you?


End file.
